Today has been the most longest day anyone could even think of dragging themselves through… I personally think it’s unnecessary to cause all this Drama with showing tantrums at once self .
Let me rewind back to just less then even a week shy ago, when i overhead a colleague mention that there was an opening in his position cause he is being promoted. Without any hesitation i was excited to apply due to he has a lot of business travels and that was the game changer hence the career growth that came with it( well i didn’t think of the odds or any consequences that came with it of cause).But the thing is , was i suppose to inform my boss about this? Honestly, I wanted to but i wasn’t sure if i was even in the running for this position to begin with , so i thought ..”Nah! , Lets wait to get shortlisted first” To my surprise , i wasn’t even shortlisted but by that time , i was a little to late 😦
My boss had already found out i applied for that position , which bear in mind i only applied due to the perks of this positions “Business Travels” . It has been 4 nights now since my boss knows what i have done ,why does it feel like a crime though?! Maybe i should have approach him before applying ?! Did he actually think i didn’t like working for him ?! We eventually grow out of scenarios but will he ever stop bashing me for a crime i didn’t even commit. I used to love going to work , now i think otherwise. He snaps at me every chance he gets, i get emails from him after midnight lashing at me for something that wasn’t even my fault. Hold Up one sec… Is it really my fault for not letting you know that i wanted to apply for this position ?! Do you really want to push me to the limits that i feel unworthy of anymore ?! Now this is were i wish i had a machine to turn back the clock to last week , and not apply for this stupid position.
A little throwback to a bunch of Friday nights at Bangsar together, a couple of drinks with friends or even our bosses . Or even the fact that we use to go for lunch together?Probably we grew a little to close ,but with you lashing out like this , It’s hard for me to actually go to sleep at nights. I’m only Human , and i wish that we could just go back to the day that this didn’t happen. Knowing that it is impossible to undo the done , my music now plays the song of loud lashing from you till you release that i was there until i am there no more. Ill take it as a mistake i have done to own up to maybe making you feel stabbed at the back?! (I’m not entirely sure where i went wrong honestly?).
With that being said, I wish you to stop being mad at me and tell me already so that we can work together as one again. I actually miss having those cynical coffee talk with you here and there and i also know nothing is curable overnight. I hope when u lash at me for your sake i don’t snap back at you 😛 .
Anyhow, I wish to talk to you soon and just put this behind us.but i guess it would be to much to ask for. Sorry is a word not to be thrown around cause when you really want to use it ,it has no value then. i wish hard upon your calmness in the morning 🙂 #positivevibesonly
Woman 